Why Autistics Are Lonely
So many autistics struggle with loneliness, even while they ache for connection. It’s easy to think it’s because we’re just too different, but what if that’s not the case?
Free resources on
Autistic Relationships, Communication, and Loneliness
- Do you never seem to say the right thing? It’s awkward, too literal, over-explaining, or info- or trauma-dumping, or you shut down and can’t get any words out?
- Do you seem to have a force-field around you for not being included in social things?
- Does unmasking feel like a double-edged sword — if you don’t, people who seem to like you aren’t liking the real you, but if you do, you risk losing even those few shreds of connection?
- Are you afraid everyone will eventually get tired of your needs/ shutdowns/ weirdness/ walking on eggshells and leave, and you’ll end up completely alone?
Free workshop on autistic unmasking
Most recent articles on autistic relationships, communication, and loneliness
Why They Say “You Know What You Did”: The Unexpected Backlash
A very common situation for Autistics is one where someone is upset at us and we can’t figure out what we did or said to upset them. I’d like to offer my explanation for why this happens.
Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn’t Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About)
When we finally figure out that we’re Autistic, we think finding community in other Autistics will be what allows us to finally find good relationships. But sometimes, it just results in us feeling more isolated than ever.
Letting Go of the Shame of Avoiding People
For autistics, it makes sense why we tend to avoid social situations; the majority of our interactions can be uncomfortable. But we can’t lean into the discomfort until we stop shaming ourselves.
Why Thank You Notes Work
Why thank you notes work might surprise you. Rather than relics of the past, these tools still serve an important purpose.
I Upset Others When I Mask Less
Sometimes when we unmask our autism, other people will have big reactions and get really upset, and we might think that we have to go back to masking because of that. But here’s a third option.
Why Autistic Masking Works For Your Benefit
Here’s an upside to help you make your history of autistic masking work for your benefit.
Why You Can’t Get Your Needs Met By Setting Boundaries
Most people don’t understand this one thing when they try to set boundaries. But getting good at this can improve both how you get your needs met, and your relationships.
How People Pleasing Prevents Positive Relationships
Autistic people-pleasing includes plenty of downsides, but have you thought of the positives that it prevents?
What’s wrong with them?
When you have relationship troubles, it’s so easy to default to asking “what’s wrong with me?” Instead, sometimes it’s worth asking, “what’s wrong with them?”
Want neuro-affirming insights by email?
Get tips and insights on how to build a sustainable life that actually feels good to your Autistic brain and body.
We don’t spam or sell. Promise. Unsubscribe at any time.
Free videos on autistic social stuff
Heather’s YouTube playlist on friendship:
Subscribe to my channel1
/
2
Why Autistics Both Need and Avoid Relationships #actuallyautistic #autisticcommunity
Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn't Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About)
Are healthy relationships scary? #healthyrelationships #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice
Don't Look For New Friends Until You Do This
Friendships that don’t last #actuallyautistic #friendship #shorts 
How People Pleasing Prevents Positive Relationships
1
/
2
Heather’s YouTube playlist of social explanations:
1
/
7
The Chrysalis of Autism Discovery
Why “you should know this by now” is wrong
Are you using autism as an excuse or as a reason?
The “becoming normal” project didn’t work #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #autismadvocate
Unmasking Strategies for Safety
How to change the system #actuallyautistic #betterlife #changethesystem #betterworld
1
/
7
Ready to go deeper?
If you’d like more in-depth, structured, or personalized help developing healthier relationships and communication that honors your autistic style—and are open to paid resources—here are my top three options.
More free resources by topic
Here are some more common issues in the later identified Autistic Journey:
Haven’t found what you’re looking for yet?
Even more free resources by topic
Here are some other common topics of interest in the later identified Autistic Journey: