Why They Say “You Know What You Did”: The Unexpected Backlash
A very common situation for Autistics is one where someone is upset at us and we can’t figure out what we did or said to upset them. I’d like to offer my explanation for why this happens.
Category: Social
Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn’t Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About)
When we finally figure out that we’re Autistic, we think finding community in other Autistics will be what allows us to finally find good relationships. But sometimes, it just results in us feeling more isolated than ever.
Letting Go of the Shame of Avoiding People
For autistics, it makes sense why we tend to avoid social situations; the majority of our interactions can be uncomfortable. But we can’t lean into the discomfort until we stop shaming ourselves.
Why Thank You Notes Work
Why thank you notes work might surprise you. Rather than relics of the past, these tools still serve an important purpose.
I Upset Others When I Mask Less
Sometimes when we unmask our autism, other people will have big reactions and get really upset, and we might think that we have to go back to masking because of that. But here’s a third option.
Why Autistic Masking Works For Your Benefit
Here’s an upside to help you make your history of autistic masking work for your benefit.
Why You Can’t Get Your Needs Met By Setting Boundaries
Most people don’t understand this one thing when they try to set boundaries. But getting good at this can improve both how you get your needs met, and your relationships.
How People Pleasing Prevents Positive Relationships
Autistic people-pleasing includes plenty of downsides, but have you thought of the positives that it prevents?
What’s wrong with them?
When you have relationship troubles, it’s so easy to default to asking “what’s wrong with me?” Instead, sometimes it’s worth asking, “what’s wrong with them?”
How To Tell If People Really Want Honesty, Part 2
When people tell you they want the truth, but then get mad or defensive or say it’s fine but things are weird between you later, here’s what I think is really going on.
How To Tell If People Really Want Honesty, Part 1
How do you tell if people really want honesty or not? Here are a few tips, and some relief for when you get it wrong.
Is it rude for Autistics to spend holidays in their room?
Is it rude for Autistics to spend holiday gatherings in their room, or opt out, instead of with the family? Is it promoting bad behavior? And how do you explain it to family members?