Parent Coaching

Have you been absorbing the experiences of autistic and neurodivergent adults and want to fully support your autistic or ND child (of any age) to be their best self?

But you’re not sure how to get around the things that everyone says are the “right” way to do things?

The fear that’s it’s all going to go wrong and hurt your child in the end?

The mental adjustments you want to make, that you suspect are necessary, for your child to feel better, and do better?

I’m here to help.

Is this familiar?

You love your autistic teen or young adult dearly AND you’re struggling to connect, to help, to find resources that fit what they need, that actually make a difference, and that aren’t punitive or compliance-based.

You watch them struggling with anxiety and overwhelm. They’re tired all the time, isolate in their room, spend way too much time on devices, and avoid anything labeled as “social.”

They insist they’re fine and don’t need help, or are sick of it. Or they’re asking for help but you’ve tried everything. Or the options you’ve found make you queasy.

You’re feeling lost and confused about what to do, how to break through, and you really need some good sleep.

Person, with a jean jacket, sitting with their elbows on their knees. They are rubbing their hands and looking down.

And wouldn’t it be nice to meet someone who didn’t see your child as a problem? As difficult? Or challenging?

You want someone who sees your kid first as a worthwhile human being.

Deep down, you know there must be a better way

And it should feel good while doing it.

You know what? You’re right.

You've got this fire inside, you want better for your child, you just need help making it happen.

And you're hoping...wishing...

Someone will listen to you for a change, and make your vision of a better future for your child come true.

Kid and adult laying on the floor, writing on some paper. There's scattered, multicolour pencils to their sides.

Here's the problem:

Parenting help generally comes in three flavors:

  1. Many will tell you how to raise your child. (I have no interest in doing this.)
  2. Some will tell you what every autistic/ND child needs. (Except that we’re all different.)
  3. A few will offer a wider variety of strategies to modify behaviors and thinking. (But the results generally don’t last for long.)

Do any of those match the vision you have of what a healthy, communicative relationship with your child looks like? Your better future?

Don’t get me wrong, strategies are great, and sometimes new ideas are exactly what you need. Especially ones tailored to autistic and ADHD and other neurowonderful ways of being in the world.  

That’s why I have lots of this kind of free information on my website. (See my blog, downloads, and free workshops.)

But frankly, you don’t need to pay someone lots of money for the kind of generic info you can get for free on Twitter or Facebook.

If you’re going to pay someone for personalized help, it better be worth the cash. And in my book, that means getting to the root of a situation.

That’s why I offer a different kind of parenting help:

I invite you to tell me what you value most, and help you make the mental shifts necessary to create that for yourself.

This isn't ordinary "parenting advice."

I coach parents, not parenting.

This might sound like splitting hairs, but I’m not here to tell you how to parent your child. I trust and believe that you will always do the best job that you are able at any given time.

That’s what you’ve always been doing. The best that you were able.

And that’s what your child has been doing as well.

What I do is to help parents, as people, to

  • escape from the cultural pressures of parenting “their” way
  • let go of the doubts and fears that doing things differently will ruin your child’s future forever
  • tweak strategies and routines to work better for your family (not anyone else’s)
  • so you can live and parent more in line with who you truly are

Because when you’re not wasting energy fighting yourself or your environment, you can be your best self.

And when you feel better inside, you will naturally parent more in line with your best values, and your kids will get the benefit of that. 

They will feel better too, and they will do better.

Kid with long curly brown hair at a table, flipping through a book. There is an adult in front of a computer to the kid's side, and they are looking at the kid.
Child and adult wearing wigs and smiling, while sitting on a brown couch.

Who cares if you do things differently?

Well, you might. Part of you, at least.

The part that lies awake at night worrying… 

What will happen to them when they get older? 

When they have to do things on their own? 

How will the world treat them? 

Not everyone is going to be as accepting as you, and what if people are mean, or worse?

That worried part of you is working so hard to protect your precious, lovely child (no matter their age). 

That part of you has probably been hurt before when you were different, and you want to spare them the grief.

And it’s probably that part of you that says and does the things you regret later, because if your kid were just more normal, everything would be easier.

Except…

Being "normal" isn't the same thing as being happy.

Doing things "normally" doesn't create happiness.

And yet, does the idea of doing things differently, on purpose, inspire terror, shame, instant outrage, an urge to run the other way, to freeze or collapse?

You’re not the only one.

Most of us have had experiences in our lives in which being different put us on the spot, and not in a happy, look-at-how-cool-you-are kind of way. Maybe you were laughed at, made fun of, teased, insulted, hurt, blamed, or ridiculed. Maybe you were physically or emotionally abused.

And that’s not what you want for your kid. Of course it’s not. You want to protect them from all of that.

So now I’m going to ask a hard question. (And you already know I’m autistic, so I’m going to be direct, but it’s not intended to be rude or hurtful.)

Have your feelings, from your own experiences of being different, contributed to how you interact with your child? With their teachers and other support people? With your spouse or partner?

I’m guessing that the answer might be somewhat uncomfortable.

I’m also guessing that, if you’ve read this far, there’s another part of you that isn’t afraid.

A part of you that has memories of being seen and respected exactly as you are, with all your wonderful differences, and who knows that this is possible for your child as well.

And you want to live into that reality more, but the fears are holding you back.

That’s exactly what I help with.

Person with long straight hair, sitting down on a green couch. They are looking down.

If you’d like personalized help finding those fears, beliefs, and internalized ableism…

and helping them feel safe enough that they can let you go…

so you can live and parent from your best self…

your creative and compassionate and courageous self…

to make a better and brighter future for your neurowonderful child…

let’s talk. 

So what would you like to be better?

Most parents come to me looking for help with a specific issue, or a few, but also wanting more than surface strategies. This is a great place to start.

Here are a few of the things people came to me for help with.

And yes, they got real results:

  • I’m worried they’re addicted to screens. How do I limit screen time without cutting them off from their friends, or damaging our relationship?
  • I feel unable to cope and am frustrated, and also worried that makes me a bad parent. 
  • When I let myself rest, I feel lazy, and there’s so much to do.
  • I suspect I’m autistic, too, and want help, but my kid’s needs are always more important. 
  • I’m stressed all the time.
  • We all have high anxiety.
  • Homeschooling is helping in some ways but really hard, or hurting our relationship, in others. What do I do?
  • They’re constantly complaining and I can’t deal with it anymore.
Two adults and a child sitting on a white couch, all looking at a silver computer the child has in their lap. The adults are smiling.

I help you find the internalized barriers that are preventing you from answering these questions yourself, and gently guide you to let them go (or rather, help them let go of you), which opens up so many possibilities.

Then we find ways to live and work and parent that match how your brain/body functions best.

We’ll go back-and-forth between these two modes, letting go of one internalized barrier at a time, and finding a new truth, new possibilities, and new strategies to replace it. 

When you live like this, it takes soooo much less energy, lowers anxiety and stress, so there is less to complain about, and you feel better about yourself, so you’re easier to be around and everything starts working better, including your relationship with your kids. It’s a win-win-win-times-a-million.

Is this what you want? It is possible. I can help.

Why am I so confident I can help you?

  1. First off, I’m a pro at the not-at-all-glamorous art of being really f*king lost in the deep dark woods of confusion.
  2. More importantly, I’ve come out the other side.
  3. And I’ve helped many others create their own Journeys. 
  4. This matters so friggin’ much to me because I’m Autistic, too. And ADHD. With sensory differences from the perceived norm. And highly sensitive. And physically disabled. With chronic pain. So I get it.
  5. I have coached well over 800 hours, helping Autistic, neurodivergent, and Highly Sensitive People improve their own lives in their own individual ways.
    • I’m a Martha Beck certified Wayfinder Life Coach.
    • A Professional Certified Coach (PCC) through the International Coaching Federation, the largest association of professional coaches in the world.
    • And I’m a licensed teacher – in my “old life” I taught high school for three years and community college for five years (and was really good at it, apart from the sensory and social overwhelm).
  6. And I’m making sure I can be the best resource for you that I can be.* I’ve been trained in or studied: Byron Katie’s The Work, Shanker Self-Reg, interoception, embodiment, neuro-somatic mindfulness, trauma awareness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Nonviolent Communication, and Internal Family Systems. I’m also a certified provider of the Safe and Sound Protocol.
  7. I respect you and your lived experience.
    • I continually lean into the discomfort of diversity with curiosity and an open heart. I have taken trainings from Black activists, listened to transgender and GNC activists, and (literally) sat at the feet of Indigenous Elders to listen to their stories.
      One formal diversity training program even gave me a “badge” (below), which I do not see as a mark of accomplishment, but as an outward sign of my inward commitment to continually learn and grow.


*I’ve been super picky about what training, courses, and education I subject myself to, since so much is built on models that are part of old systems I want to move away from.

Here's what I offer:

I offer personalized life coaching based on Martha Beck’s Wayfinder model (how to find your best life), informed by my own autistic experiences and what works best for my clients.

I’ll adapt to what you need, want, and find helpful.

I guide, offer, invite, but never demand or “make” you do anything.

Close-up on two people, in jackets and hats, hugging.
  • I bring calm, compassion, and a non-judgmental space to allow you to explore new experiences safely. 
  • I listen and honor your knowledge and experience.
  • I uplift, seeing the potential in you even when you don’t.
  • I’ll challenge you, kindly, to leave the B.S. behind so you actually get the results you want.
  • I keep things simple, because simple is so much easier. In fact, you’ll find that your life gets a lot easier as we work together.

What’s involved?

We’ll talk together over Zoom, and sessions last about an hour. 

Most people get the best, most lasting results when we meet regularly: weekly, twice a month, or monthly. Some people prefer an occasional session here or there. It’s up to you, based on your needs and situation.

It generally works best to bring a particular issue that you’re struggling with. Something you want to be better.

From there I will ask powerful questions to help you find the things that you’ve been taught to believe about yourself, your child, and how the world works, that have been hurting you and holding you back. 

We will gently and compassionately question them to find out what parts are true and what parts are social conditioning that you don’t need anymore. 

As you unlearn each ableist belief, each bit of conditioning from your family, teachers, society, etc., new options for addressing that specific issue will emerge. 

And this will create ripples that will spread to your relationship with your kid(s), partner, and throughout your life to help in other areas as well. 

This is the process of making your whole life better, one little bit at a time. 

Someone holding up their hand with a compass in it, pointed towards the blurred mountains in the background.

How to get started:

Step 1

Do our philosophies align?

Congrats, you’ve already done step 1! (Reading the above.)

So, are my philosophy, goals, and coaching style what you’ve been looking for? 

If this resonates with you, and you’re interested in 1:1 coaching with me, here’s the next steps:

Step 2

Are you ready?

We want this to go well, right? To reinforce positive experiences that will lead to an upward spiral of things getting better?

Here are the three things that my other clients have found set them up for success.

Three questions to ask yourself:

1.

Are you willing to invest your time, energy, and finances in trying a deep dive approach that may feel unfamiliar and new?

2.

Is this the right time to start?

Don’t worry, you don’t need to wait for that magical moment when all the stars align,
but it does need to be right enough. (Whatever that means for you.)

3.

Is individual coaching the best option at this point in your Journey?

(A couple group and self-guided options are available, and others are in the works. Sign up for my newsletter if you want info when more come out.)

If you can answer yes to these three questions,
I invite you to schedule a free clarity session!

Step 3

Your free clarity session

Before you spend money, do you want to meet first? 

This is a final check to see if you feel comfortable with me, and an opportunity ask any lingering questions you have about working together.

One free session is my gift to you.

No sales pitch. No commitment.

After you sign up, you’ll get an email confirmation with a Zoom link for our meeting and info about what to expect in our time together.

You’ll also get my email newsletter (about twice a month), 
and you’re welcome to unsubscribe whenever you don’t want it anymore.

For a screen reader-accessible scheduling page, click here.

Step 4

If you want to give this a try

If we’re a good fit and you would like to try coaching with me,
pick your payment/scheduling preference:

One Session At A Time

$ 120
*USD
  • 1 session, to work through a specific issue or an aspect of an issue
  • Get to know you questionnaire to help jumpstart our first session

6 Session Package

$ 650
*USD
  • 6 coaching sessions
  • Pay once, get 10% off,
    and schedule when you choose
  • Get to know you questionnaire to help jumpstart our first session

*I offer a limited number of sliding scale client spots. This is an expression of my desire for justice and accessibility. I’ve relied on others being flexible with their pricing when I was un- and underemployed, and am thrilled that I can now pay it forward.

My sliding scale involves no bargaining, no paperwork, and no shame. If you’re ready to do the deep work that will help you get to a place in life where you will have more options, and finances are the only thing holding you back, please ask!

I’m also open to trades if your skills match my needs.

Step 5

We start working together

That’s it. There’s no contracts, commitments, or signatures.

I’ll send you an optional questionnaire that will help me learn a bit about you so we can skip a lot of the small talk phase and jump in deep.

Then simply show up for the first session you scheduled, and we start!

Continue as long as you find this useful in creating your autism-positive life.

FAQs
About the work

You probably won’t completely unmask, be all done with burnout, or cheerfully chit-chat with strangers. It’s too soon for that. Waaay too soon.

You’ll probably will feel more openness inside, making it easier to get through the day and face the ordinary things you have to do. And you’ll probably begin to imagine that things could get even better.

When you’re trying to make a decision, I can help you process your thoughts, feelings, and reactions, and stimulate self-reflection. I have tools and techniques that can help you deal with the anxiety of uncertainty, or of what might happen, and try other ways to make decisions. I’ll ask questions that help you consider options in a new way, or generate new options. 

But I won’t decide for you. And I won’t push you into a decision.

Because what I think would be best may not be what would work best for you. My perspective is not your perspective. And you’re the one who is going to have to live with the decision. So I won’t tell you what to do or decide for you.

I fundamentally believe that you know what is best for you, even if you don’t have access to that information right now. What I help you do is access and use that information well.

Ummm…I don’t like goals. (Well, sort of.)

I don’t engage in the kind of goal setting and accountability that further the coercive systems and mentality of our society that I want to break away from.

If you have goals that you would like to work on, I can help support you do to do that, but I’m not going to create them for you and I’m not going to get on your case about why you didn’t do it or why you chose to do something else.

But a lot of what I do is exploring with you, as an equal partner, the things in your life that you’re trying to make better. To look really deeply at what’s getting in the way of what you want—what about the current situation is not working for you—without comparison or judgment.

Again, I can’t, and won’t try to, “make” you do anything. You are in charge of yourself. 

And to answer your question, it depends on what you want. 

For many of my clients, “homework,” or “assignments” tend to create more stress than positive outcomes. 

If you’re reflective between sessions, and feel inspired to something personal-growth-ish, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s great, too. Sometimes not doing is exactly what you need.

Part of our work together is in dismantling the oppressive “shoulds” that we’ve been conditioned to believe are the only way to get anywhere in life (but have they been working for you so far?).

You know deep down what works for you and what doesn’t, and it’s my job to help you get in touch with your own inner wisdom and trust yourself.

To put that another way, I’m not in charge of you; I’m here to support you as you direct your own progress.

For some of my clients, they thrive on having some structure or goals in between sessions so it doesn’t turn into an hour of growth that falls into a memory void.

If we get to the the end of a session and you want something practical that will naturally continue the progress we have made together, I can offer a suggestion and we can tweak it together so it is what you want to do and feels do-able on your terms.

The one-size-fits-all-model doesn’t even work for t-shirts, never mind the complexities of human—especially neurodivergent—experience. And many of us have other intersecting, marginalized identities that inform what we need.

Even if we started by planning out everything in advance, tailored for you, you would discover new things about yourself each time, so the original plan would quickly become irrelevant and create stress. 

So everything is customized to you. There is enough predictability in how sessions work to reduce stress, and you get to choose the topics (I can help if you want), but our sessions will evolve naturally from one to the next.

I care deeply about consent, partnership, and empowering your personal sovereignty. 

I won’t always know that a topic will be tender, so when I do misstep, I hope you will be able to say something like, “I don’t want to go there,” and I will say “Okay, thank you for telling me that,” and move on, no questions asked

For some people, speaking up for yourself is hard. Really hard. (I’ve been there.) This can be a chance to try it without shame or pushback or any negative repercussions. 

Fortunately, this isn’t therapy, and I am not a trained therapist. We may gently, briefly, recognize that there is a history that caused some old wounds, because pretending that anxieties exist without a cause won’t give you the results you’re looking for.

But we won’t linger there or unpack all of the parts of it the way a good therapist would. (By the way, depending on your situation, it can be very helpful during this process to work with a therapist who is a good fit for you.)

What we will do together is something closer to recognizing that, for example, a girl made fun of you when you were five and that was painful, and you told yourself that she made fun of you because you weren’t OK the way you were, and that painful thought became deeply rooted. We’ll look at that thought and how it affected you, not so much the original experience.

I have a great deal of cognitive empathy, but I don’t absorb other people’s emotions the way some people do, and I don’t generally get overwhelmed by hearing about abuse or trauma, especially when it is in the past.

When I hear about injustices in the present, I want to do something about them, but that’s a different thing.

Therapy or counseling is best suited to working through issues from your past, including traumas and the psychological results of years of autistic gaslighting, etc.

Life coaching, at least the way I do it, takes those into account and treats them with compassion and care, but doesn’t get deeply into them. It focuses rather on making a better present and future for yourself.

To put it another way, therapy is like medicine for your mental health. Coaching is like vitamins and yoga, for when your mental health is reasonably stable and you want to make improvements to your life.

Some of my clients find it helpful to engage with both.

If you’re seriously considering doing this, that tells me you’re seriously interested, but it still might be scary. Here’s the thing. There are two kinds of scary: panic-scary and exciting-scary. 

If you think about doing this and your gut clenches or your chest tightens and your shoulders, jaw, hands, or toes clench up and it gets hard to breathe, that’s panic-scary, and that’s your body telling you that this is not the right choice for you, or not the right time.

But if you think about doing this and your gut gets fluttery and your heart starts racing and you’re starting to think about things that you could do if this were to work, you’re probably experiencing exciting-scary. That’s the kind where taking the leap will probably work out well.

If you’ve tried everything (else), that tells me you really, really want a better life. It also tells me that those other things didn’t really get to the root of what’s been holding you back, which is the focus of my work.

Trying to work toward goals without removing the barriers that get in their way is like trying to push a car up a hill with the brakes on. It’s so much easier to take off the brakes, turn on the car, and drive up.

I’ll be up front with you. This work can be uncomfortable sometimes, because it means bringing up some things you don’t like to think about (for very good reasons). But I’ll be with you every step of the way, and will never push too hard. We’ll keep it gentle, and safe, and I will listen to you the whole way through.

If you’re ready to do this work (with support) it can be powerfully transformative.

FAQs
About the practical stuff

All sessions are remote, via Zoom or over the phone, so it doesn’t matter where in the world you are.

Sessions are scheduled for 60 mins, but we’ll finish when it feels complete, which may be a few minutes more or less.

Most people get the best, most lasting results when we meet regularly, especially at the beginning to get some momentum going.

Twice a month is most common, or sometimes weekly or monthly. 

Some people prefer an occasional session when something comes up they want to work through.

That works especially well after they’ve been doing this with me for a while and are getting better at continuing it themselves.

It’s really up to you and what you find works best. I don’t require any commitment, so you can modify the pace at any time, as often as needed.

 

Don’t worry, this won’t be another big thing for you to do.

And since I don’t give homework (unless you specifically ask for it), you don’t have to fret about that for days. 😉

It’s useful to have some idea of what you want to talk about, or get out of the session, but if you’re not sure, I can help and we always come up with something worth getting into (usually pretty easily). 

If you want to prepare more for sessions, try asking yourself what you want to be different at the end of our time together. It may be understanding something, a new perspective, figuring out what’s really going on underneath a particular situation, why you’re reacting a certain way, or what’s holding you back from something.

If money is tight, or stuff on your calendar produces anxiety, or you don’t want to agree to too much, it might be easier to manage one at a time.

If executive functioning is a scarcer resource, the package might be easier, as you only have to checkout once. You can even schedule all six right then (but you don’t have to).

Nope.

You can try just one session, or a few, and stop anytime. If this is not a good fit for you, or you got great results in a few sessions (great!) and are happy to move on, that’s fine.

I don’t make contracts, or require commitments, or hold anyone to promises.

I do require payment upfront for any sessions you schedule (invoicing is a nightmare), but you never have to schedule more than you want, and can reschedule if needed.

Kindness.

Life comes up and sometimes you can’t make it.

You can reschedule or cancel up to two hours before a session and use that appointment later.

No-shows or cancellations with less than 2 hours notice are not refunded or rescheduled, as I don’t have the opportunity to re-plan my time.

If this happens once in a great while, no worries, that’s life.

If this happens more often, we’ll talk (non-judgmentally) about why. Maybe something is getting in the way, stressing you out, or executive function is interfering. If you want to continue, we might do some coaching if you’re not sure what’s going on, or talk about strategies to help.

Absolutely. Some of my clients identify as:

  • neurodivergent in other ways,
  • Highly Sensitive People,
  • introverts or ambiverts,
  • sensory divergent,
  • wanting to make their life better, and appreciate my approach.

You’re not the only one. I offer professional consultations for therapists, counselors, educators, and other professionals who want to get better at creating positive working relationships with their Autistic clients.

Click here for more info.

This can be great,
but it's not for everyone

This may be for you if...

This may not be a great fit if...

This may be for you if...

This may not be a great fit if...

If you’re thinking…

“Sounds great,
I want this!”

Schedule a free Clarity Session to meet and make sure we’re a great fit.

“Intriguing, but it would mean talking to a stranger.”

I get it. It’s OK to take a while getting comfortable with me. Or not. 

In the meantime, take a look around.

“Ehhh, no thanks.”

No worries. I’m not a good fit for everyone, and that’s OK. 

And if now’s not the right time, that’s OK too.

You’re still welcome to lurk, and to all my freebies.

Skip to content