How do you get out?
One of the most common questions I get is some variation of, “how do you get out of autistic burnout, or build an Autistic life you feel good about, when you have all of these responsibilities and/or people around you are not supportive?”
There’s a lot that could go into answering that, and there’s definitely layers and nuances and it will be somewhat different for different people, but a lot of it really comes down to one critical thing. And without this one thing, all of those other strategies and help and ideas won’t be nearly as effective as they could be.
Want to know what that is?
Dissolving internalized ableism.
Dissolving internalized ableism will free up the most amount of internal energy, and give you the most freedom, and it will support you in your ability to do everything else.
If you do that—and I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy—but doing even a little teeny tiny bit at a time, moving at the speed of trust, it will make the most difference out of everything else that you can and will ever do to improve your burnout, reduce rumination, improve relationships, and all the other parts of making a life you love to live.
Because it’s the internalized ableism that is pushing you to do things that you’re not OK with.
Because it’s the internalized ableism that is pushing you to do things that you’re not OK with, and that gets on your case when you can’t do them as well as you think you should be able to, or that others thought you should be able to, or your hypervigilant safety system is trying to get you to do to protect you from potential consequences later.
And it’s the internalized ableism (among other things) that is telling you that you can’t ask for help, or that you can’t ask for accommodations, or that is blocking you from giving them to yourself even when there’s no need to interact with anyone else.
And it’s the internalized ableism that is scared of unmasking, or that paints unmasking as an all-or-nothing proposition with dangerous consequences.
And it’s the internalized ableism (among other things) that looks at every job description and freaks out, painting in your mind the most horrible version of what that job will be like, and puts your body through the stress of that imagined horrible scenario while you’re sitting at home, looking at your computer, and not actually dealing with that job yet.
And it’s the internalized ableism that tells you that you’re never going to succeed in a capitalist society and that there’s no hope for you until capitalism and the patriarchy and the current government (among other things) have all come tumbling down.
Again, I know there’s more going on than this, but this is a critical piece of the puzzle.
And that’s why I’m dedicating a whole workshop to how to identify internalized ableism and to start to root it out of your own thinking.
So that it doesn’t hold you back from making things better that you can make better. From doing things that you can do. From unmasking to the extent that you choose, when you choose. From providing yourself with your sensory accommodations when possible (and it’s more possible than the internalized ableism would lead you to believe).
The live workshop is November 8, and it will be recorded and transcribed if you don’t find this in time, or don’t want to attend live.
You can find information at: https://autismchrysalis.com/ia
And if there’s someone that you think might be interested, would you please share the info with them? I appreciate the help spreading the word, because the more people in this world who are acting less out of ableism, both to themselves and others, the better this world will get.
And there are lots of people who want to do better, and simply need a little information and encouragement and some hope that it really is possible. Can you think of someone like that? Please share this info with them.