A Short Reflection On My Own Interior Healing Journey

Closeup on a hand reaching towards sunlight that is peaking through trees.
I used to push pain away and think it didn't affect me anymore. That wasn't as true as I thought it was.

How I used to process pain

Someone asked me today if I spent a lot of time ruminating on things that happened.

And yes, when something happened that hurt me, I would ruminate on that for a while, sometimes a long time, but taking the long view, my personal strategy was more of: push it away and don’t think about stuff. 

Since I wasn’t thinking about it, I thought I was over it, but I wasn’t.

A lot of the old pain I just pushed away and didn’t think about. Didn’t go there. So I didn’t realize how much it was still affecting me.

I thought I’d gotten over it because it had been a long time, and since I wasn’t thinking about it, I thought I was over it, but I wasn’t.

I didn’t truly heal from that old pain until I actually faced it and worked through it, in a loving and gentle way. Which really hurt and really sucked, but it turned out it wasn’t as hard or as awful as I thought it would be.

There’s still plenty to work through; I find more every so often, but I’ve worked through enough that it’s radically changed the course of my life and enabled new possibilities that I never ever would have considered.

(Like coaching. Now I talk to people for a living. Daily. Intentionally. And like it! This still kind of blows my mind. In a good way.)

Want articles like this delivered to you?

We don’t spam or sell. Promise. Unsubscribe at any time.
Read our privacy policy here.​

Read more:

One Response

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Picture of Heather Cook

Heather Cook

Hi, I’m Heather. I’m an Autistic writer, advocate, and life coach, and I'm building a life I love. I help other Autistics to build their own autism-positive life. I love reading, jigsaw puzzles, just about every -ology, and Star Trek!

Table of Contents

Want more?

Get my newsletter (about twice a month) on creating your autism-positive life:

I don’t spam or sell.
Unsubscribe anytime.

Skip to content