Why Autistics Are Lonely
So many autistics struggle with loneliness, even while they ache for connection. It’s easy to think it’s because we’re just too different, but what if that’s not the case?
Free resources on
Belonging and Finding Home
for Autistics
- Have you ever felt more yourself in a single conversation with another neurodivergent person than in decades of trying to fit in everywhere else — where you didn’t have to explain yourself, didn’t have to perform, and felt for the first time like you might actually be home?
- Are you done trying to belong in spaces that were never going to let you all the way in — and trying to figure out what it would look like to find or build something that actually fits?
- Are you only now starting to feel the full weight of what it cost you to go unrecognized for so long — and finding grief and rage coming up, with no idea of what to do with them?
Free workshop on unmasking safely
Most recent articles for Autistics on finding belonging, community, and a sense of home
Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn’t Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About)
When we finally figure out that we’re Autistic, we think finding community in other Autistics will be what allows us to finally find good relationships. But sometimes, it just results in us feeling more isolated than ever.
Healing Communication Wounds Takes Time
Healing communication wounds with new experiences is a gradual process.
Letting Go of the Shame of Avoiding People
For autistics, it makes sense why we tend to avoid social situations; the majority of our interactions can be uncomfortable. But we can’t lean into the discomfort until we stop shaming ourselves.
This Isn’t The End Of The Story, Just The Middle
When going through a tough time, it’s easy to feel like it’s the end of everything, but this isn’t the end of your story.
Why You Can’t Get Your Needs Met By Setting Boundaries
Most people don’t understand this one thing when they try to set boundaries. But getting good at this can improve both how you get your needs met, and your relationships.
Disclosing Autism: Understanding People’s Reactions to Disclosing you’re Autistic
People can often have upsetting reactions when you tell them you’re Autistic. Here’s why I think those reactions happen, and why it doesn’t have to be the end.
When You Hate Being Perceived
Here’s what might be going on if you hate being perceived, if it feels bad or awful, especially if you’re Autistic or otherwise different from the majority around you.
How Much Is It Okay to Go Out of My Way for Others?
As you’re learning to establish healthier relationships and boundaries, the question comes up, “How much is it healthy to do things for others that use my own energy and effort?”
When You Can’t Reach Out But There Was No Trauma
Some times you want friends, and you try to reach out, but question whether this person really wants to hear from you again. Here’s what might be happening.
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Free videos on autistic friendships
Heather’s YouTube playlist on friendship:
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Why Autistics Both Need and Avoid Relationships #actuallyautistic #autisticcommunity
Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn't Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About)
Are healthy relationships scary? #healthyrelationships #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice
Don't Look For New Friends Until You Do This
Friendships that don’t last #actuallyautistic #friendship #shorts 
How People Pleasing Prevents Positive Relationships
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Ready to go deeper?
If you’d like more in-depth, structured, or personalized help with finding belonging, community, and a sense of home, and processing the rage and grief of their lack—and are open to paid resources—here are my top three options.
More free resources by topic
Here are some more common issues in the later identified Autistic Journey:
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Even more free resources by topic
Here are some other common topics of interest in the later identified Autistic Journey: