What is pride?
Today is Autistic Pride Day.
This is a global movement led by Autistic people, celebrating our identity, strengths and community.
And I’ve been thinking lately about what pride means in this context. Because it’s gotten a bad rap in our moralistic culture, that judges everything as good or bad, right or wrong.
And when it is an attitude of unjustified, inflated ego, it can lead to problems.
But I don’t think it has to be only that.
Another version that trips me up is thinking that I have to be proud “of” something, as in, I have to have earned it, like a skill that I have worked on for years.
But that doesn’t fit with this kind of pride, or Pride Month. This is more of being proud of who you are, or what you are. (Which smacks of the ego thing, when it’s taken in a negative way.)
But I didn’t earn being AuDHD. It’s simply who I am.
And I didn’t always appreciate what that got me in this world.
But I’m at a very different place in my life now, and in my relationship with my Autism and ADHD.
I think there’s a non-moralistic, non-acquired kind of pride that is closer to a feeling of: I like who I am, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay to like myself. It’s even good to like oneself.
Liking who I am
And in fact, I do like how my brain works (most of the time). I like how I analyze problems, and how I think logically, so I’m not as likely to be taken in by rhetoric.
I like how I communicate directly and without manipulation. I like how I’m upfront with people about what I mean, and how that builds legitimate trust in me, because they know what to expect from me.
I like how my intense sensory experiences can be a source of pleasure and joy.
I like how I often take joy in the little things.
I like that I’ve at least gotten something out of being othered so often throughout my life. Because I can understand what it feels like, and so I’m more empathetic and accepting of other people who are not like me.
I like how I can hyperfocus on things I’m interested in, and how wide ranging my interest has been at different times, and how I learn a lot of really interesting things about the world that way.
I like how, having done that in a lot of different areas throughout my life, has built up a huge amount of information that lets me make connections between things that other people so often miss. So I can understand systems and causes and explain why things are the way they are.
I like how my attention to detail, and to questioning the underlying how and why of things, makes me really good at picking apart what works for me, and why, and the steps to be able to replicate that for others. And that my direct communication style and acceptance of other people has led me to become a really good teacher in sharing what I’ve learned with others.
In short, I like who I am. And I am AuDHD. So yes, I am proud I am Autistic.
I like how my sense of justice has always been present in the work that I’ve chosen (to some extent or other), and now it’s central to what I do every day.
In short, I like who I am. And I am AuDHD.
So yes, I am proud I am Autistic.
I feel pride in our community, as well, for working so hard, despite the many obstacles, and too little acceptance and understanding, to help each other and to continue to help the world.
In what ways do you like yourself? Or like being autistic or ADHD? Or this community?
(And if you’re not at that point in your journey, that’s OK too. There’s no guilt or shame in that (at least not coming from me)).
