Extra layer of difficulty
Although life is complicated and hard for everyone, as Autistics, we’ve got this extra layer of difficulty because the way the world works is not currently adapted for how we work.
And because there are expectations that we do things in ways that work for other people, we have to learn to go against our natural processing style, and that adds yet another layer of difficulty on to it.
And because we’ve been living in that dichotomy for so long, in which we’re expected to do things in ways that are adapted for others, without knowing that’s what’s going on, we’ve absorbed this shame for not being good at that, which makes it even harder because that shame leads to shut down and brain fog and drains energy.
And in that state, you can’t easily come up with ideas of what would be actually a healthy way for you to do this.
And to add yet another layer, most of us grew up without role models of adult Autistics who have built a healthy, functioning Autistic life, so you’re trying to imagine something that, for you, doesn’t exist yet, and that’s really hard to do.
No wonder you’re struggling. Of course you’re struggling. It’s not your fault. You’ve been set up for struggle and anxiety and depression.
But there are Autistics out there, like myself and many others who are in the process of figuring this stuff out, and who are undoing the damage of normative expectations, and we’re helping each other, each in our own ways, according to our capacities, and in our own time. These people are great resources and models for what is possible.
You been gathering data for decades on what a normal life should look like. But what if you refocused to looking more towards what a healthy, functioning Autistic life could look like, and live into that more and more.
Just a thought. Have a neurowonderful day.