I’m Highly Sensitive; I’m Not Making It Up
Over the years, I’ve been told so often that I’m overreacting, that a part of me defaults to assuming that’s true, no matter what. Here’s how it flared up recently in a big way.
Free resources on
Shame and Self-Compassion
for Autistics
- Have you been told you’re too much, not enough, broken, lazy, difficult, or wrong? Does it feel impossible to argue against because you’re the common denominator in every bad situation?
- Do you hold yourself responsible for every relationship that didn’t work, every job that fell apart, every time you couldn’t do basic things — even though you’ve learned you’ve been playing the game with a completely different set of rules?
- Can you give understanding and compassion to other people, but struggle to be that generous to yourself? Does it feel disingenuous, uncomfortable, unearned, or even dangerous when you try?
- Are you afraid that if you really start to unpack the shame, guilt, and fear, that you’ll have to finally face the traumas you’ve been running from?
If you recognized yourself in any of these, you don’t have to keep figuring it out alone.
I’ve walked this road myself, and that’s why I’ve put together resources, tools, and answers to support you in making it better.
Free downloads
Here are most popular free downloads
to help with those questions:
Free workshop on deconstructing shame as a means to restoring energy for Autistics
Most recent articles for Autistics on unlearning shame, the internal critic, and developing self-compassion
2 Things That Transformed My Business (6 Years Burnout-Free)
After 5 businesses and multiple burnouts, I finally figured out how to work for myself sustainably. Here’s what changed.
Why I Won’t Call Autism a ‘Disorder’
The clinical term for autism is “autism spectrum disorder”, and yet many autistic people refer to their autism differently. I’d like to personally explain why I do too.
Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn’t Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About)
When we finally figure out that we’re Autistic, we think finding community in other Autistics will be what allows us to finally find good relationships. But sometimes, it just results in us feeling more isolated than ever.
The Uncomfortable Combination Of People Pleasing And Demand Avoidance
In my last video, I shared the story of being unfairly accused of cheating someone, but forgot to finish with what happened with the sheriff. Here’s the rest of that story.
Halfway done is wholly right
I’m revisiting the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, where I had a major mental shift six years ago, that helped me let go of the need to complete everything.
The Abuse of High Standards
I’m reflecting on how easy it is for high moral standards, high standards of justice, high standards of behavior, or high standards of achievement can be damaging.
Why Changing My Mind Is So Hard
I’m reflecting on how hard it has been for most of my life to change my mind, change plans, backtrack, and to not follow through with a plan, or with something I’ve said I will do.
When WFH Backfired, and Increased My Anxiety
This is a story that took place a few years before I figured out I’m Autistic. My supposed dream come true of working from home turned out to be a recipe for high anxiety.
What Culture Says about Strength Isn’t True
We often view our culture as “the way things are,” and this is especially true when it comes to displays of strength, but culture isn’t always right.
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Free videos on people pleasing
Heather’s YouTube playlist on people pleasing:
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“This isn’t a big deal” is an excuse
Setting boundaries and following them is not the same
Rule following can also be a form of people pleasing 
Holiday people pleasing leads to sticky situations  #audhd #holidaystress #peoplepleasing
Do you people please AND avoid demands? #actuallyautistic #audhd #pda
The Uncomfortable Combination Of People Pleasing And Demand Avoidance
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Free videos on deconstructing shame for Autistics
Heather’s YouTube playlist on decolonization work:
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The trap of low self worth #actuallyautistic #audhd #internalizedableism
Guilty about unreasonable expectations?
They benefit from my burnout
There's no such thing as "lazy"
Here's Why I Get Mad When People Compliment My Smile
What I Wanted Treatment for Wasn't Autism
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Ready to go deeper?
If you’d like more in-depth, structured, or personalized help with unlearning shame, the internal critic, and developing self-compassion—and are open to paid resources—here are my top three options:
More free resources by topic
Here are more common topics of interest in the later identified Autistic Journey: