I Hate Networking (And You Don’t Actually Need to Do It) | Autistic Business Advice #2

Standard business advice that’s awful for self-employed Autistics and AuDHDers, part 2:
“Network, network, network.”

Why this is crap

Ugh, I hate this one. Especially when you don’t want to be perceived, when you hate small talk, and when social interaction is, at best, a chore. The advice to “network” probably produces an immediate gut clenching reaction. Every avoidance technique your subconscious can come up with will kick into gear, and given the choice, you might prefer a migraine.

But let’s look for a minute at what the purpose of networking is, and then we can find a way to fulfill that purpose without actually having to network, in the mainstream sense.

What is networking?

The idea of networking is usually one of two things. One, a way to find people in business who can support you in either some aspect of your business, or some aspect of spreading your message. Like partnering with people who have a similar client base but are not actually in competition with you. So you two can recommend each other to your clients. Or work on a project together that helps you both.

Or, the second purpose is more directly a way to get clients, by talking with people who may themselves become clients, or who may refer you to people that they know.

How networking is usually done is through going to mixers of people who are either in the same industry as you, or just happen to own a business in the same community, or might be loosely related in some way, and mingling, either in person or online, and more or less just hoping that you’ll find someone that might be relevant to fulfilling either of those two purposes.

This is like reaching into a bag of 1000 marbles, and hoping you’ll pull out one of the two purple ones. It’s a waste of time, energy, stress, executive function, cognitive load, and you can use all of those things much more efficiently in your business by doing other things.

This is why a lot of us hate networking, and when we do it, it sucks and just reinforces our preconceived notion that it’s a waste of time, because usually it is.

What can you do instead?

But let’s look at those two purposes again.

To get clients: honestly, you shouldn’t be using networking to get clients. That’s what marketing is for. So write that one off. It can sometimes lead to a client, but that’s not a good use of networking energy.

If it is something that would actually be useful for you at this point in your business, great, useful for what? Get really clear on what it is you want to get out of it, and then make a beeline for actually doing that. Not random networking events, not meeting random people hoping something good might come out of it.

If you’re looking for people to share an audience, scope out people like that and reach out individually to make contacts, and know that only a portion of those are going to bear fruit, and that’s okay. That’s normal and expected in business and in human relationships. That’s not necessarily you being terrible at people-ing.

If you want more help on how to actually do that, in a way that’s made for Autistics and AuDHDers, I’m teaching a course that’ll cover how to find and connect with the right people, and to market authentically and ethically, in ways that actually work for your divergent brain, and actually produce the results that you want. As well as many other aspects on how to be self-employed as an Autistic or AuDHDer without burning yourself out. We start on May 2nd. If you want more info, here’s an overview, or go to: https://www.autismchrysalis.com/alchemy

Wishing you a neurowonderful day.