
How to Use Body Signals to Make Better Decisions
If decision making is hard for you, here’s a technique to use body sensations as another source of information for decision making.
Whether you’ve recently figured out you’re Autistic, or are coming to terms with it in a new way, you’ve always known you were different. And now you know you were right.
There’s validation and relief there, but also confusion and anger and regret and…maybe a little flicker of hope that things could get better.
Which is empowering, yes, but honestly, it would be a relief to just get through the day.
Mostly, you’re hoping this new understanding of yourself will mean you can find real help.
I know, because I’ve been there. This was me several years ago.
The weird thing is, though, that I didn’t realize any of that until my 30s.
Sure, there were signs. (Lots, looking back.)
I would invariably say the awkward thing. Or ask a simple question and be accused of being rude.
Loud noises and bright lights bothered me. I struggled to keep my place reading. My body didn’t work how others’ did.
But in 1,000 little and big ways, I simply adapted, ignored, or discounted my own experiences.
No one understood, so I stopped trying to talk about it. I did the hiding, avoiding, dreading people thing instead. The phone-shy thing, the cancel-at-the-last-minute thing, the hermit thing. I burnt out multiple times. I spent years struggling with anxiety and depression.
I’ve also come to a place where my life works. I function better on a daily basis, the brain fog is so much less, I keep steady self-employment, and haven’t burnt out since 2015.
I’m comfortable with myself and others, have awesome (IRL and online) friends, go out when I choose, and don’t feel guilty when I don’t.
Now I help other neurowonderful humans who are done chasing “normal” to build a life they love without compromising who they are.
Yes, that is possible.
We don’t spam or sell. Promise. Unsubscribe at any time.
Read our privacy policy here.
You tried so hard to do everything they told you, in order to gain acceptance. To be who they told you, in order to fit in. You played by their rules to be safe.
But you weren’t accepted. You you didn’t fit in. You weren’t safe.
Now you know why. They were trying to make you into something you’re not.
And you’re at a point where you’re done trying, pretending, striving, to be someone you’re not, to please people who will never be satisfied, no matter how hard you work (you’ve worked sooo hard and they never saw it).
But you don’t know how to make the positive changes you want to make, or even what changes are possible.
Are you ready? Are you determined to make things better for yourself?
Ooh, I can practically hear the voices of doubt and fear wheezing at you as you read this.
They’re whining, “It doesn’t work like that. No one will accept me. People don’t know the truth about autism/sensitivity/sensory etc. They’re ignorant. Abelist. Dangerous.”
Other voices are crooning, “It’s not going to work.” “I’ll lose friends.” “I’ve tried everything, nothing helps.” “At my age, what’s the point?”
Those voices are trying to protect you. Trying to keep you safe. By believing the things that you’ve been told your whole life. Things you’ve learned though painful experiences.
But are they serving you? Are they helping you make a better life for yourself?
Here’s the thing. A functional autistic life doesn’t come from imitating a neurotypical life. And when that doesn’t work, the solution isn’t memorizing social scripts, popping pills, or taking three breaths.
It starts with understanding how to work with your sensory system, so you’re not wasting energy fighting off the world.
With that extra energy, you can finally focus, figure out new strategies to get things done, and embrace your natural communication style: solutions that work with your brain, not against it.
And along the way, it takes clearing out your negative beliefs about yourself that you’ve innocently clung to as truth.
This will lead to a radical dose of self-acceptance. It’s OK to be the way you are. Truly.
Small changes will build on each other, anxiety will fade, and that’s when being around people will feel better. And work better. If that’s what you want.
It will get easier over time, as you have more positive experiences, and you’ll gradually begin to do things you’ve desperately wanted, but couldn’t because…people-energy-brain-hard.
This Journey is exactly what I help with.
Here are some things people came to me for help with.
And yes, they got real results:
“I want to be able to do things where there’s a lot of steps involved or that take talking to a human being.”
“I want to not come off as argumentative when I’m just being direct.”
“I hate it when I agree to something I don’t want to.”
“I want friends who care about the real me.”
“Be able to make decisions.”
“I wish I could take better care of myself.”
“Be able to tell when I’m running out of steam before it’s all gone.”
“I wish I could have a flexible job that engages my interest, and doesn’t burn me out.”
“Be able to work a traditional job.”
“I want to be able to manage my energy better. Or at least not crash so much.”
“To not get flooded with sensory overwhelm all the time.”
“Better self-care.”
“I wish I was able to get excited for more things.”
“To be more independent.”
“To accept my autism diagnosis.”
“To recover from autistic burnout.”
I work 1:1, via Zoom, or over the phone, primarily with Autistic (and neurodiverse and highly sensitive) adults and teens (and their parents), to:
And learn new ways to:
In short, to build a life that works with your unique mind-body.
Everything is customized for:
One-size-fits-all doesn’t work for T-shirts, so why would it work for your unique, amazing, personhood?
Intrigued?
Browse the website, or
Take a look at my selection of groups and classes for teens and adults.
Ready to go beyond information into application and want some personalized help? Check out these options.
If decision making is hard for you, here’s a technique to use body sensations as another source of information for decision making.
Here are five things that are so common in our modern lifestyle, that we often don’t have a chance to experience life without them, so we don’t see how much they affect us.
Autistics get stressed out by a lot more things than most people, and what stresses us, and why, is often surprising to others. Here’s the critical first step to helping.
We don’t spam or sell. Promise. Unsubscribe at any time.
Read our privacy policy here.
The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
© 2020-2023 Autism Chrysalis LLC.