Free Workshop
How to Use Body Signals to Make Better Decisions
If decision making is hard for you, here’s a technique to use body sensations as another source of information for decision making.
Whether you’ve recently figured out you’re Autistic, or are coming to terms with it in a new way, you’ve always known you were different. And now you know you were right.
There’s validation and relief there, but also confusion and anger and regret and…maybe a little flicker of hope that things could get better.
Because you're not strange, weird, or broken, you're completely normal for you.
Which is empowering, yes, but honestly, it would be a relief to just get through the day.
Mostly, you’re hoping this new understanding of yourself will mean you can find real help.
I know, because I’ve been there. This was me several years ago.
Hi. I'm Heather.
I'm Autistic, ADHD, highly sensitive, and have sensory processing differences. Plus, I live with chronic pain from EDS.
The weird thing is, though, that I didn’t realize any of that until my 30s.
Sure, there were signs. (Lots, looking back.)
I would invariably say the awkward thing. Or ask a simple question and be accused of being rude.
Loud noises and bright lights bothered me. I struggled to keep my place reading. My body didn’t work how others’ did.
But in 1,000 little and big ways, I simply adapted, ignored, or discounted my own experiences.
No one understood, so I stopped trying to talk about it. I did the hiding, avoiding, dreading people thing instead. The phone-shy thing, the cancel-at-the-last-minute thing, the hermit thing. I burnt out multiple times. I spent years struggling with anxiety and depression.
I’ve also come to a place where my life works. I function better on a daily basis, the brain fog is so much less, I keep steady self-employment, and haven’t burnt out since 2015.
I’m comfortable with myself and others, have awesome (IRL and online) friends, go out when I choose, and don’t feel guilty when I don’t.
Now I help other neurowonderful humans who are done chasing “normal” to build a life they love without compromising who they are.
Yes, that is possible.
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Does this resonate?
You tried so hard to do everything they told you, in order to gain acceptance. To be who they told you, in order to fit in. You played by their rules to be safe.
But you weren’t accepted. You you didn’t fit in. You weren’t safe.
Now you know why. They were trying to make you into something you’re not.
And you’re at a point where you’re done trying, pretending, striving, to be someone you’re not, to please people who will never be satisfied, no matter how hard you work (you’ve worked sooo hard and they never saw it).
But you don’t know how to make the positive changes you want to make, or even what changes are possible.
You've tried everything
Are you ready? Are you determined to make things better for yourself?
Ooh, I can practically hear the voices of doubt and fear wheezing at you as you read this.
They’re whining, “It doesn’t work like that. No one will accept me. People don’t know the truth about autism/sensitivity/sensory etc. They’re ignorant. Abelist. Dangerous.”
Other voices are crooning, “It’s not going to work.” “I’ll lose friends.” “I’ve tried everything, nothing helps.” “At my age, what’s the point?”
Those voices are trying to protect you. Trying to keep you safe. By believing the things that you’ve been told your whole life. Things you’ve learned though painful experiences.
But are they serving you? Are they helping you make a better life for yourself?
The missing Piece
Here’s the thing. A functional autistic life doesn’t come from imitating a neurotypical life. And when that doesn’t work, the solution isn’t memorizing social scripts, popping pills, or taking three breaths.
It starts with understanding how to work with your sensory system, so you’re not wasting energy fighting off the world.
With that extra energy, you can finally focus, figure out new strategies to get things done, and embrace your natural communication style: solutions that work with your brain, not against it.
And along the way, it takes clearing out your negative beliefs about yourself that you’ve innocently clung to as truth.
This will lead to a radical dose of self-acceptance. It’s OK to be the way you are. Truly.
Small changes will build on each other, anxiety will fade, and that’s when being around people will feel better. And work better. If that’s what you want.
It will get easier over time, as you have more positive experiences, and you’ll gradually begin to do things you’ve desperately wanted, but couldn’t because…people-energy-brain-hard.
This Journey is exactly what I help with.
What can coaching practically do?
Here are some things people came to me for help with.
And yes, they got real results:
“I want to be able to do things where there’s a lot of steps involved or that take talking to a human being.”
“I want to not come off as argumentative when I’m just being direct.”
“I hate it when I agree to something I don’t want to.”
“I want friends who care about the real me.”
“Be able to make decisions.”
“I wish I could take better care of myself.”
“Be able to tell when I’m running out of steam before it’s all gone.”
“I wish I could have a flexible job that engages my interest, and doesn’t burn me out.”
“Be able to work a traditional job.”
“I want to be able to manage my energy better. Or at least not crash so much.”
“To not get flooded with sensory overwhelm all the time.”
“Better self-care.”
“I wish I was able to get excited for more things.”
“To be more independent.”
“To accept my autism diagnosis.”
“To recover from autistic burnout.”
How we can work together
I work 1:1, via Zoom, or over the phone, primarily with Autistic (and neurodiverse and highly sensitive) adults and teens (and their parents), to:
- Unlearn the guilt and shame of not being like “them.”
- Understand better how your personal sensory-nervous-system-brain works.
And learn new ways to:
- Manage the many tasks of day-to-day life.
- Get, or keep, a job or self-employment.
- Take better care of yourself.
- Feel better about interacting with others, and understand how.
- Be more independent.
In short, to build a life that works with your unique mind-body.
Everything is customized for:
- what you need,
- what feels good to you,
- and what you want to get out of this.
One-size-fits-all doesn’t work for T-shirts, so why would it work for your unique, amazing, personhood?
Intrigued?
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