Course Title
An in-depth framework and practical techniques to reduce the impact of anxiety on your day-to-day life, that actually work for Autistic and AuDHD humans.
I've been there
There was a time, not too many years ago, when anxiety was my constant companion, nay-sayer, punisher, and fear monger.
I would spend weeks dreading a phone call I had to make.
I’d put off replying to emails for so long that it got extra weird to reply, and the anxiety compounded.
I’d start projects, and get overwhelmed by all the things that needed to happen in order to make progress, and shut down, and emotionally beat myself up about it. And then get irritable, and say the wrong thing to someone, and have something else to ruminate about.
Things that other people consider simple, like cooking, cleaning up, making an appointment, or deciding whether I wanted to go to an event with people (and how), felt so overwhelming, and even thinking about them triggered so much anxiety I’d often do something else instead…or shut down.
I’d avoid grocery shopping until my kitchen looked like Mother Hubbard’s cupboards.
If you’re looking for anxiety relief that actually works for Autistics and AuDHDers, who are later identified/high masking/low support needs…
I’m offering a short course on how to reduce anxiety, both the practical, immediate overwhelm, and then how to deconstruct the underlying thought patterns that keep the rumination going, and the guilt, and shame, and negative self-talk.
I’ve been through this myself, I’m Autistic and ADHD, and lived with moderate to severe anxiety most of my life, until I figured out this framework several years ago, and it’s completely changed my ability to function and work and deal with people, and everything, a bit at a time.
Now I can deal with last minute changes.
And not default to overwhelm when faced with multi-step tasks, or complex projects.
I can have difficult conversations and not ruminate for ages when I say something awkward.
I can deal with sensory stuff better, and the thought that I might go into an environment that might be uncomfortable to my senses, and when I need to, I can make a change that will help me, or let myself off the hook and leave, or ask for what I need, without my anxiety spiking at the thought of any of that.
And so much more.
It’s often little day to day things, but those add up to real, positive improvements in my life.
And makes it easier for me to deal with the big things, when I choose to.
This is the same framework, and the same techniques, that I teach my private coaching clients, distilled down to their essence, in a systematic way that’s easy to understand and put all into practice in the real life circumstances you’re struggling with.
If this is of interest, all the details are at http://www.autismchrysalis.com/anxiety, and the link is in the description and the first comment as well.
Wishing you a neurowonderful day.
When I had something scheduled, like an appointment, or a repair tech coming over, or a package to be delivered, I would spend all day on tenterhooks, waiting for that time, unable to do anything else, even when it was hours away.
When I was working, I was constantly afraid of what other people were thinking about me. Did I say something wrong? What did that comment mean? Why didn’t she ask me about that project? What if she does? What should I say? What are they thinking about me? Am I about to be fired? What if the next round of layoffs gets me, and I can’t get another job?
And I’d compare myself endlessly to where I thought I “should” be at that point in my career, to how many different tasks other people could juggle, or how much they made, or how much they could do after work, and wonder what was wrong with me, and why could everyone else manage so much better than I could?
And when I did get praise, it was often because I was ridiculously good at certain things other people found hard, not because I felt like they liked me or wanted me around. So I still felt in danger all the time.
Job hunting was a minefield of anxieties: what if I get into another awful situation? Is it always going to be as bad as my last job? What if I never find a job that will work for my sensory needs? Is that even possible? Am I too old? Is it too late for me? I can’t start all over at this point in life.
I wanted to make things better, now that I understood I’m Autistic, and how I worked, but every fleeting desire to do something else, or to make a better life for myself, to get another job, to make anything better, was immediately followed by a barrage of negative thoughts, often about how weak/broken/bad I was, how the world would never work for me, and how it’ll never get any better, so what’s the point in trying.
I lived like this for so long that I forgot it could be any other way.
Even something as supposedly innocent and minor as catching up with a friend (what will they think of me for not being in touch for so long???) would overwhelm me, I’d shutdown, put it off, do something else, or do nothing, or else rant about how the world is screwed up, and then fantasize about moving to a cabin in the woods. Wouldn’t that solve everything???
Is any of this familiar to you?
And now, on top of all that, in our current political climate, with everything that’s going wrong in the world, there is so much more to provoke anxiety.
And yet, as shocking as this may seem, I’m not all that anxious anymore.
The anxiety isn’t gone, but there’s not much left, and it’s not very strong, and the negative voices aren’t very loud, and what is left is very manageable.
And I now have the skills to manage it when it does come up.
It took me a long time to get to this point. Gradually, bit by bit, I figured out what worked to really get at the root of it, and to deal with it better.
And I’d like to share with you what worked. So you don’t have to reinvent the process on your own. So it won’t take nearly as long.
From an Autistic/ADHD perspective, as an AuDHD human who has been through the anxiety minefield.
The alternative
What if you had skills to deal with these kinds of situations when they come up? I won’t promise they will go away forever (let’s be realistic), but I firmly believe (and have experienced) that it is possible to learn how to diffuse them so that they aren’t as intense.
And when they’re not as intense, they’re not as overwhelming.
So your brain will have capacity left over to think other things, like finding useful solutions to the real situations you’re dealing with.
In fact, that’s entirely reasonable. And possible. Even for your wonderfully Autistic or AuDHD self.
My anxiety is much more manageable now, which means my entire life is much more functional. For example…
I can speak up and ask for clarification when I need it. I can say no when I need to. Or back out of a commitment when that’s appropriate.
I can change my mind.
When someone doesn’t return an email or text promptly, I don’t immediately spiral into assuming they’re mad at me and that everything will be awful or awkward from now on, or that our relationship is over.
I can break down tasks into smaller steps, and not get overwhelmed at looking at all the many steps that need to get done, or get stymied by my need to complete everything or else it’s not worth doing anything.
When I need to get things done in a short time-frame, even unfamiliar stuff. And I can deal with the anxiety spike that still comes (it’s not nearly as bad), and I have the skills to short-circuit it so it’s short lived, goes away, and I can actually do the thing.
I can even manage the anxiety that swells up before telling someone I’m Autistic, so I can follow through, when I choose to. And with the anxiety so much lower, my brain can think of better words to say. And I can manage my own reactions to however they react to it.
And when someone criticizes me, or complains, or ghosts me, and I didn’t do anything objectively hurtful or bad, I don’t go into a negativity spiral like I used to. It’s not fun, but it genuinely doesn’t hurt me the way it used to. And I know deep down that I’m going to be okay.
The bottom line is that I trust myself and my ability to deal with hard things so much more, and I trust that I’ll be okay in life, no matter what happens.
What I’d like to share with you is HOW I got to this point. As an AuDHDer. Interested?
What's possible
What if you could figure out what parts are the external, practical sources of pain, and what parts are made worse by how you’re thinking about it, and could toggle between those?
Although worries and fears may always come up, they won’t be paralyzing anymore. Because you'll trust you can deal with them.
What if you had skills to diffuse these painful thoughts when they come up? I won’t promise they will go away forever (let’s be realistic), but it is possible to learn how to reduce their intensity.
And when they’re not as intense, they’re not as overwhelming.
So your brain will have capacity left over to think other things, and find genuine solutions to those real, practical problems.
That’s when practical anti-anxiety techniques and tricks, like breathing (and I’ve got a bunch of others), are most helpful, to deal with the leftover anxiety enough that you can put into practice the solutions you’ve figured out.
As you do, and experience neutral or positive results, over time that will rewire your nervous system to trust that you have new skills and abilities to deal with hard things.
As you deal with more hard things, and learn more skills, and your nervous system trusts that you can do hard things, more and more, the anxieties will gradually fade.
Although worries and fears may always come up, they won’t be paralyzing anymore. Because you’ll trust you can deal with them.
Because you can deal with them.
What's in this course?
I’m the kind of person who needs to understand why something works.
So, over a few years, as I was coaching and teaching these techniques to my clients, and seeing the very real results in their lives, I thought through what made this stuff so powerful. And I think I’ve distilled the essence of it, which has become the framework I would love to share with you.
If you’re also the kind of person who wants to understand why, as well as get practical tips that actually work for an Autistic/AuDHD brain, this might be a good fit for you. (These explanations are part of the reason I get such great reviews.)
Over four modules (originally presented over four weeks), I’ll be sharing this framework: the why.
And the how. How to put this into practice in real life.
I’ve pulled together the most important, most consistently useful techniques that put that theory into practice.
I'll be sharing this framework: the why. And the how. How to put this into practice in real life.
There are 8 practical techniques built into the course, but I also threw in a few others here and there, that were relevant to people’s questions, so you’ll end up with a few more than promised. 😉
They’re not all going to appeal to you. And it’s neither a personal failure, nor a flaw in the curriculum, if they don’t all work for you.
I’m trying to provide a wide enough variety so that everyone will resonate with at least one or two.
Because if even one or two are helpful, and you use them, even intermittently, it can make a big difference over time.
Does this seem like it would make a difference for you?
What to expect from the course
This is the recorded version of the last time I presented this live.
So you can watch and follow along at your own pace, and rewind as much as needed.
Each meeting starts with a physical anti-anxiety technique, to help soothe your nervous system so your brain can work better for the rest of the session.
Then we get into some theory, and a technique to directly put that theory into practice.
Then there is some Q&A time at the end of each meeting, with real questions and examples, modeling how to put this into practice.
If even one or two things are helpful, and you use them, even intermittently, it can make a big difference over time.
• My intention is to practice these techniques with day-to-day frustrations, not the deep topics that are best reserved for therapy or 1:1 coaching. (It absolutely can be used for those, but it’s better to practice with the smaller things and build up. And I share how to tell what qualifies as “small.”)
• This course is intended to be a welcoming place for diverse learning and communication styles, and gender inclusive.
• All recordings are available as video, audio only, and transcribed for your reading pleasure (by an Autistic human, so there’s no AI weird mistakes.)
• Even though this is no longer a live course, there is a discussion space for asynchronous questions and comments on the course platform.
Meeting one
Technique 1: “Heart Circling,” a mildly calming experience of physical relaxation, to start the class.
The theory: What anxiety is and isn’t: a little brain science. The two types of pain. My anxiety reduction framework. Avoiding common mistakes. Why this works.
Putting theory into practice: technique 2, “I’m having the thought…”, in which I notice that what I’m thinking is just a thought.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
Meeting two
Technique 1: “Name your story,” in which we title a cluster of painful thoughts like a story, to refer back to later like a work of fiction.
The theory: The 4 Categories of Human Experience. How to separate the practical pain of the circumstances we’re going through from painful thoughts. Common pitfalls, and how to avoid them. How to not accidentally gaslight yourself.
Putting theory into practice: technique 2, “The Observer,” in which we watch our worrying self and create an imaginary safe space for those worries to live.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
Meeting three
Technique 1, “Sensory Anchoring,” in which nearby neutral objects keep us in the present moment, away from the painful parts of the past and anxieties about the future.
The theory: 5 ways to find painful thoughts. The trickery of “can’t” and “have to.” Why “should” is so insidious. Red flags and how to avoid them.
Putting theory into practice: technique 2, “A Variety of Vocalizations,” in which we playfully take some of the pain out of that tired old thought by laughing at how silly it can sound.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
Meeting four
Technique 1: “Open Focus,” a way to get into a grounded state by readjusting our focus.
The theory: Refining how to find painful thoughts. Underlying needs. The subconscious rules that create additional pain.
Putting theory into practice: technique 2, “Disobey on Purpose”, in which we prove to our brains that not everything we think is true.
Recap: putting all the parts we’ve covered together in real scenarios.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
Is this what you've been looking for?
Learn how to master anxiety so it no longer masters you.
What you'll get
- 4 modules of recorded meetings. Each 90 minutes to 2 hours.
- Happy info dumping, with space for questions interspersed throughout.
- Q&A from real Autistics and AuDHDers dealing with real life anxieties and burnout, modeling how to apply this to your life.
- A recorded 90 minute group coaching/Q&A session, full of even more real scenarios and my help/answers.
- Bonus stress management techniques.
- Recordings, transcripts, and chat log of every meeting.
- Slides as PDFs for viewing or download.
- Asynchronous online discussion space with other course attendees (if that’s your thing; completely okay if it’s not).
- Printable handouts with a quick recap of each tool for easy reference.
- Worksheets to guide you through the entire framework of detangling and diffusing your own anxieties. Both online and printable versions.
When is it?
This is the recorded version of the last time I presented this live (in 2025).
This gives you the freedom to:
• Follow along at your own pace.
• Rewind and re-watch as much as needed.
• Pause to take notes.
• Engage on your own schedule, as your energy allows.
• Not feel guilty about missing live meetings.
• Not feel pressured to participate in a live meeting.
• Not need to take it all in at once, avoiding overwhelm.
• Reduce demand avoidance of learning on someone else’s schedule.
• Come back months later for a refresher.
So when is it?It's ready when you are.
How much is it?
Anticipated time investment to get results: 1-2 hours per week, scattered throughout your normal life.
Your financial contribution: $150 USD.
2-Month payment plan available. (No surcharge for the payment plan. Yay!)
Are you ready?
Is this the right time for you to get a handle on anxiety?
Who this may be a good fit for:
- Autistic, AuDHD, and other neurodivergent individuals who struggle with anxious thoughts.
- If you’re the kind of person who wants to understand why something works, and doesn’t want BS answers.
- If you’re willing to get curious about your fears and investigate what’s really going on.
- If you want to get clear about what’s underneath the worry or negative self-talk that you keep repeating to yourself (and others).
- If you want a trauma-sensitive space and facilitator.
- If you like the idea of working on this while observing other Autistics doing the same, who aren’t going to say things that subtly gaslight you for thinking/reacting your natural way.
- If you self-identify as Autistic or AuDHD, or are comfortable being around us.
- If you’re open to exploring different perspectives and trying something that may feel unfamiliar, as long as it rings true for you, in a supportive environment and with the explicit agreement that you can stop anytime or pick and choose what to try.
This will be a poor fit for you if:
- If you’re overloaded right now and don’t have the time or capacity to add one more thing. Even a good thing.
- If you fundamentally disagree with my philosophy as presented above, you’re not going to have a good experience.
- If you absolutely need the pressure of live meetings to get you to engage with the material, it might be better to take one of my live courses instead. (I offer them from time to time. Sign up for my newsletter for announcements.)
- I’m pretty sensitive to PDA, but if your demand avoidance is so intense that anything you even slightly disagree with triggers a strong backlash reaction, and such intense criticism that you zero in on that and can’t take in anything else, this probably won’t be a good fit at this time.
- If you’re currently experiencing anxiety induced psychosis, or have a history of psychotic breaks that have not been adequately addressed (by your own standards), this framework won’t be useful until you take care of that first.
- If you absolutely cannot stand someone starting sentences with conjunctions. Because I do that a lot. 😉 (I reject strict adherence to classical Latin grammar rules in modern English.)
FAQs
This is now an on-demand, self-paced course. So it starts anytime you are ready.
This is the recorded version of the last time I presented this live (in 2025).
This gives you the freedom to:
• Follow along at your own pace.
• Rewind and re-watch as much as needed.
• Pause to take notes.
• Engage on your own schedule, as your energy allows.
• Not feel guilty about missing live meetings.
• Not need to take it all in at once, avoiding overwhelm.
• Reduce demand avoidance of learning on someone else’s schedule.
• Come back months later for a refresher.
I want to be realistic, so the honest answer is no. And I wouldn’t trust any short course that makes that promise.
Your anxiety probably developed gradually over a long period of time, likely several years or decades. And it’s had a lot of practice doing this thing that it’s doing (trying to protect you in the only way it knows how).
A few weeks isn’t going to change all of that. But it can make a start. Or add on to what you’re already doing.
I’d like to offer a way to think about anxiety that doesn’t blame or shame you, that doesn’t assume you’re broken or that something’s wrong with you for having anxiety, or for the impact it’s had on your life.
There are enough techniques, of a wide enough variety, that you can pick and choose those that work best for you. If you find even one or two that are helpful, and use them even inconsistently, it can make a big difference over time.
And provide evidence that it can get better!
Ugh, I hate that!
I got that advice so much, and found it so unhelpful at my lowest points that, for a long time, someone telling me to relax was actually triggering. Ironic, huh?
To be honest, now that I’ve worked through enough of this process, I do find deep breathing calming, but only after I worked through other things first (like the stuff in this course).
By the way, have you noticed that holding your breath is an automatic response to pain (mental or physical)? Because this is so common, I will occasionally offer a reminder to breathe while doing other things, but those other things are the primary exercise, not the breathing.
So no, that’s not directly part of the course.
Yes!
The framework and techniques I present aren’t exclusive to Autistic and neurodivergent brains, so if my approach resonates with you, and you’re fine spending time with Autistic adults, feel free to sign up, even if you’re not Autistic (or aren’t sure).
For example, this may also be a good fit for HSPs.
The techniques presented here are largely based on the work of Steven Hayes PhD, who developed ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), and Martha Beck PhD, who developed the Wayfinder coaching model that I am trained in as a Master Coach.
I’ve modified and adapted their work based on my own life experience and several years as a professional coach working with hundreds of neurodivergent adults and teenagers.
I’ve kept what works, left the rest, and added my own twists, tricks, and style when they’ve worked better, and incorporated bits from a number of other sources that I’ve accumulated over the years of figuring this out by trial and error.
My goal is to give you the shortcut, so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel, or figure it all out by scratch yourself.
There are a variety of accommodations built into the course for various learning styles:
- Human edited transcripts (no funky AI typos) of every video.
- Transcripts include the slides so you don’t have to jump back-and-forth between files.
- Audio only files if you prefer to just listen.
- Summaries of each module to reduce note taking and to find topics easier.
- Table of contents built into each video to easily jump to topics of interest.
- The video player remembers where you leave off so you don’t have to find your spot.
- Handouts for easy reference of important concepts.
- The course website is WCAG compliant.
This is an inclusive, trauma-sensitive, and BS-free zone.*
ALL are welcome, including cis, trans, nonbinary, a-gender, gender expansive, and other LGBTQIA+ humans.
The language used throughout the course is intentionally gender inclusive.
*The presenter is trauma-informed and trauma-sensitive, but you are the best judge of what you can handle at the moment. Please take care of yourself.
You will have access for at least a full year (and longer if I renew my subscription to the course platform, which is likely).
I don’t want to promise “lifetime access”—(Whose lifetime, yours or mine? Or the lifetime of the website? All of which could be misleading.)—which is why I’m intentionally cautious about promising too much, but it is my intention to keep this available for the foreseeable future.
If you give this framework a fair try, try the techniques, implement what is presented in the meetings, find and question your painful thoughts, and don’t notice any reduction in your anxiety within six weeks of enrolling in the course, let me know and I will refund your money in full.
Basically, if you sign up and don’t use the course, that’s on you. But if you give it a fair shot and it doesn’t actually help you, that’s on me. Is that fair?
Yes!
If it’s a choice between this and something essential (like food, heat, rent, childcare, etc.), but otherwise you’re ready and wanting to take full advantage of this course, I’m happy to offer you a partial scholarship.
I’m also open to extended payment plans if that makes it easier to afford.
To get either one, send me a short email (sample script below to copy/paste).
You don’t need to explain why, defend your need, or flog your poverty. Just tell me how much you can afford, and if I can accommodate that, I will.
Sample email script:
Hi Heather, I’d like to take advantage of your offer of a partial scholarship. I’m able to contribute $x USD toward the course./Could I pay for the course over x months? Will that work for you?
Thanks,
Name
I’ll respond with a link to sign up if I can meet your request (which is likely; I’m a softie at heart).
Are you ready?
Is this the right time for you to get a handle on anxiety?